The Sorry-about-all-that-Empire-business (still, we can laugh about it now - right guys? Guys?) Games are poised to adopt some new demonstration sports for Birmingham 2022 including:
Spaghetti Junction - individual and relay races through the notorious motorway intersection. Points will be deducted for accidentally entering Wolverhampton. Reaching West Bromwich will result in automatic disqualification.
Match the member of the Royal Family with the correct sexual practice - a timed event involving imagination, the ability to suppress disgust and avoid tabloid censorship. Competitors should bring their own pegs.
Where's Liz Truss - a variant on Where's Wally where Liz Truss is a wally and competitors have to find her and deliver her to be interviewed by Andrew Neil.
One organiser noted 'It's no weirder than having crown green bowls.'