With inflation higher than Michael Gove on a night out, mortgage rates are set to soar, plunging millions of people into financial hardship. Meanwhile some Conservative MPs have been infuriated to learn the word mortgage has a silent letter 't' in the middle.
One began shouting 'That silent letter seems suspiciously French if you ask me. Leave means leave. And that 't' has got to go.'
'Anyway, who are these ghastly oiks who can't afford to spend their uncle's inheritance on a city crash pad to go with their house in the country? They probably eat too many avocados or something. We should cut any benefits they're on and give them a clip round the ear as well as a sneering lecture on financial responsibility. Why haven't they taken the precaution of being rich already? '