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Starmer & Johnson forced to resign over ‘sh$t parties’

Durham Police explained: ‘Technically they both broke a law, that no one wanted, other than themselves, but that is not why we are charging them. Guests at both have now attested to how mind-numbingly awful both events were. Warm beer, cold chips and not a bouncy castle in sight’.

A spokesperson for Number 10 said: ‘At least our party had a clown at it’.

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