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Suarez: ‘Biting restored my blood glucose levels'

One Doctor confirmed: 'Mr. Suarez showed real presence of mind to sink his jaws into the glucose-saturated shoulder of Giorgio Chiellini. Had he failed to move swiftly he could easily have slipped into a coma, become as lethargic as an England's back four or been forced to eat a ball boy. Footballers are a rich source of dextrose and help with the munchies’.

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