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‘Suitcase actually contained dismembered body of a journalist’ insists Tory grandee

A leading Conservative MP has denied accusations that a suitcase spotted entering and leaving 10 Downing Street during lockdown contained bottles of wine and Doritos intended for a late-night party organised by staff .

Jake Reemog, Tory MP for Somerset East told investigators the suitcase was actually carrying the dismembered body of a dissident journalist. The journalist was last seen entering 10 Downing Street on 20th May 2020 just hours before the start of a drinks party and disco organised by Govt officials. The man was known to be a prominent critic of the Johnson administration and had been a thorn in the PM’s side since the pandemic began.

It has since been revealed that the Prime Minster actually attended one of the parties with his wife Carrie although he insists the carnival troupe he led around the rose garden at midnight was not a drunken conga line but a ‘works event’. Reemog defended the Prime Minster by saying Mr. Johnson did not realise the red liquid made from harvesting and fermenting grapes that he had been drinking all night was an alcoholic drink

‘Yes…there was a memo asking colleagues to BYOB….but I think that’s where the confusion starts. The memo meant Bring Your Own Body…..not Bring Your Own Bottle as some people are interpreting it.

There was nothing in lockdown restrictions to say you could not bring a dead body to an after works Covid meeting. I think you will find the senior civil servant investigating the various lockdown parties will find in our favour and exonerate all who attend the works meeting…..apart from the one Shaun Bailey attended….obviously".

1 Comment

Peter Whitelaw
Peter Whitelaw
Jan 18, 2022

Damn....I posted the wrong one.

I had a paragraph that mentioned disposing of the body in a skip at the back of the Co-Op

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