Rishi Sunak has been busy putting the 'mentalist' into 'environmentalist', by committing the UK to dramatically increase the number of cars that are painted green. However he has drawn some criticism for pushing the deadline for this back from 2030 to 2035 and not including cars that are aquamarine or turquoise.
Tory intern Henry Hootington-Hurst explained 'Rishi can’t see what difference 5 minutes makes. Besides he wants the car industry to bring back lead based paint. Taking lead out of paint is woke and the EU are to blame. We in the Tory party welcome an increase in the number of people who are mentally impaired because that means more votes for us!'
'And we’re going to bring back CFCs. That ozone layer has had it too good for too long.'