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Sunak unveils £30B "Excuse-o-tron"




Prime Minister Rishi Sunak today unveiled the UK government funded "Excuse-o-tron" costing the tax-payer over thirty billion pounds.


"I am delighted to unveil this vital, UK developed technology today of all todays," he told a hastily put together press briefing, "gone are the days of 'leaves on the line' or the 'wrong type of snow'!" He continued, "This technology guarantees plausible, bite sized, media friendly excuses in a fraction of time it takes our convential, manual spin doctors. This technology could save us time, stress and most important may even save us at the next election." The ammased press laughed heartily.


As a demonstration, Mr Sunak asked the "Excuse-o-tron" to explain the recent Conservative by-election losses. The machine popped up a constantly shifting word cloud with phrases like "protest vote", "problematic predecessors", "low turn-out", "voter apathy" and "mid-term fatigue".


The demonstration took a more sinister turn as the word cloud then start to spurt out words such as "George Soros", "The Deep State", "Q" whilst emitting a loud curious, monotone wailing before finally replacing the word cloud with one word, "CORBYN!".


The demonstration was quickly brought to a halt by scientists heard to whisper, "quickly before it goes full Farage!"


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