Recent apologies for abuse seem sadly familiar. ‘Who would have thought the Catholic Church would condone such a thing?’ said one shocked parishioner, as he googled ‘catholic church child abuse’. ‘If I just click through a few…there’s one…just one…maybe two…twelve…fifty…HOLY SHIT! 333,000 results!!! Run – run for your lives – the Priests are coming to get us!’ It is unclear which member of the clergy made the original confession, but the 1970′s BBC light entertainment division do hold the film rights.