top of page

Tim Peake is worst Star Wars’ character since Jar Jar Binks

Ardent Star Wars fans have declared themselves disappointed with the latest edition to the George Lucas franchise; with none predicting that it would be a bland film about a UK astronaut. Those who had been expecting an exciting narrative of about Jedi and TIE fighters will be treated to a six-month yawn-fest as Mr. Peake floats aimlessly around; doing something geeky with soil samples, saying ‘exsqueeze me’ every time he bumps into cosmonaut and attempting to wee into a bag.

One friend expressed concerns that he is ill-prepared for the mission: ‘Tim keeps blathering on about going to the moon. I tell him, that’s no moon it’s a space station. It’s too big to be a space station, says he. Without his glasses, he’s got no sense of perspective. I tell you, I have a very bad feeling about this.’

One fan complained: ‘It’s almost as if George Lucas has given up – if I wanted a story about an uptight Brit clowning around in a fart filled suit, I’d have read a biography on Boris Johnson.’

58 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page