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Tom Cruises by air show, shows off a few mov(i)es

Updated: Jul 20, 2022

Receiving some endless love from delighted spectators at the Fairford Air Show, the American made maverick took to the vanilla sky in a XB-70 Valkyrie bomber.

Jerry Maguire, born on the fourth of July, said: ‘This was no magnolia walkabout, he leaped into the cocktail- pit, I mean- primed the top gun; the firm grip he took of the taps- all the right moves. Taking off, suddenly he was far and away, then it began to rain, man. It felt like days of thunder, loud as a war of the worlds. The sky went the color of money- kinda greenish? Like knight and day at the same time.’

Jack Reacher, the last Samurai in Dorking, continued: ‘In that old plane, commissioned by a rogue nation, it was a risky business. The mummys- and a few good men- had their eyes wide shut. It was like he was on a mission, impossible to be stopped. He was spinning towards the rock of ages, heading for oblivion, any fallout would cause massive collateral damage. I turned to run, but told myself: “Jack Reacher: never go back”, and kept watching. At the last second he triggered the ghost protocol and pulled up. He should have been dead, reckoning on it now. This is what separates lions for lambs- the guy’s a total legend.’

With temperatures reaching tropic, thunder was forecast at the event from mid-afternoon until the edge of tomorrow, but in the end, only a minority reported losin’ it in the heat, mainly the outsiders with nowhere to avoid the sun, according to an interview with the “vampire goth flying enthusiasts” podcast.

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