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'Tory cigarette ban proposal is f*cking menthol' say Tories

Carlton Reid, a dyed-in-the-wool Conservative party member, is disgusted with the government's latest proposal to phase out smoking.

'I have been true blue for well over 120 years now, I would have thought,' barked Reid. 'We are supposed to be the party completely opposed to nanny state interventions. Hard-working, decent, lifetime retirees like me should always have the freedom to blow smoke directly into baby's faces if we choose. And their nanny's faces.'

Chief Downing Street strategist, top aide, marvellous adviser, thoroughly decent chap, good egg, and serial upskirter Calvin Ward pointed out, 'If we ban smoking, then there won't be any fag packets to write our policies on.'

image from pixabay

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