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TransPennine Express defend fluid timetables and non-binary concepts about arrival

Due to the train service providers total lack of respect for customers and the concept of time, people have been complaining even more than usual about the train franchise.

In an attempted distraction from its' nationalisation this weekend, the company has declared these criticisms as Anti-Trans and asked for the Police to intervene.

A Pro-TransPennine Rights spokesperson said, “Just because we have fluid timetables and non-binary concepts on whether trains arrive or not means we are subject to daily harassment. The Police need to do their jobs properly even though we have no intention of doing ours.”

The Police have stated, “We need to tread very carefully with any sort of Anti Trans movement be it against gender definitions or a transport system across a range of uplands in Northern England.

"No-platforming Anti-Trans movements is an option we have but to be fair with hundreds of cancelled trains every week, Trans-Pennine Express have been using this strategy themselves with some success".

As protesting commuters patiently filled out online complaint forms and sighed, the beleaguered Trans-Pennine CEO screamed “Bigots!” and asked the Police to water cannon them.

Hat-tips:Titus and SteveB

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