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Turkey starts school holidays early

President Erdogan has announced that school’s out for summer, prompted by him putting all subversive teachers under house arrest. School sports days will be replaced by students waving banners in support for the President, while trying not to make eye contact with the secret service.

The subsequent teaching shortage will see Turkish parents struggling to get their children into their local catchment prison. An Istanbul teacher said: ‘We’re seeing a clamp down on free-speech and learning – a bit like an Academy but with more riot police’.

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