U2 to offer a free iPhone with every album
In a futile attempt to boost sales and keep Adam Clayton in hair dye, the Irish rock band have been forced to entice listeners with offers of three year’s interest free credit and 10% off at M&S. Their manager confirmed: ‘It’s not cheap to keep The Edge in woolly bobble hats. And there’s only so much tax evasion we can get away with. So, the lads will be appearing at motorway near you, armed with squeegees, offering a CD with every windscreen wiped. And if you don’t fancy that, for every song downloaded, we promise to delete two’.