UK government finally delivers on Covid Delta PLUS

Updated: 4 days ago



After failing to deliver on promises of Norway plus or Canada plus for Britain, the UK government has finally come good on Covid Delta Plus. A government spokesfiend licked its talons and hissed, 'People should be a bit more damned respectful. We always promised we would deliver the best possible outcome for Britain, and here it finally is. No, no... I just seem to... er... have something in my eye.' 'We have strained every sinew to stop bothering with any sort of restrictions and worked tirelessly to misinform people so that they give up on wearing masks and get back into schools and offices. Without the help of millions of heroic Brits who flung off their restrictive, freedom-killing, virtue-signalling masks, we just couldn't have guided everyone to these sunlit uplands. 'AY.4.2 is, however, too boring, so we're definitely not following the science on this one and instead we're calling it The Great British Covid Delta Variant Plus. It's the proper, glorious ubervariant Britain deserves, and you just know it's going to be world-beating.'