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UK shuts due to 3cm of snow

The UK’s infrastructure has ground to a halt after an unseasonal breeze and three drops of rain.Complained one commuter: ‘It’s a life and death struggle every morning, finding the sweet spot on my shower dial. Let’s not forget that it was ‘leaves on the line’ that first caused the Dissolution of the Monasteries in 1536.

‘I’ve seen footage of the London Blitz and none of it prepares you for the extra twenty-minute wait for a connecting service to Clapham Junction. It was either use a dead seal skin as a fetid insulating wet-suit, in order to survive, or back home to a snug duvet’.


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