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Umlaut sues Emoji for copyright infringement.

Lawyers working on the behalf of Germanic vowel alternation have filed a class action against winking and smiley faces. A spokesman for Umlauts explained: 'My client has been squiggling over the International Phonetic Alphabet for over a thousand years. Who can forget…

Ɔː = I've had my ear pierced twice

ü = It looks like I'm smiling but I've just had a stroke

and ö = Someone has shown me the Human Centipede.’

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