Mexico has refused to apologise, saying the fifty-foot-high mound of earth near the wall’s perimeter was nothing to do with them. Given the size of the tunnel, this ‘mole-man’ is estimated to be nine-foot in length and threatens to wreak havoc at local golf courses before becoming Marvel Comics ‘lamest franchise’.
A border control spokesperson said: ‘Anyone who has seen the impact radioactive waste on ninja turtles, will accept the possibility of an anthropomorphic mole. We have several methods for tackling this monster – we’ll be keeping an eye out for further grass movement, trying to thwack him over the head with a two-tonne shovel and failing that, building the biggest mouse trap you’ve ever seen.
‘It’s also possible that this creature may have had help – the public should be vigilant for a large rat, a huge badger and toad dressed as a washer woman’.