We’re full now, insist fridges

Fridges don’t have room for any more cans or bottles, they have confirmed. Having been stocked up this morning to allow the beverages a chance to get cold, and then looked at every half hour to see if 20 x 275ml of liquid, plus 15 x 440ml of liquid, plus 4 x 750ml of liquid will be adequate for four adults, one of whom only drinks hot drinks anyway, for a two-hour time period on Wednesday.

Enthusiastic fridge stocker Dave Smith has been assessing the temperature of the under stairs cupboard and considering nipping to the supermarket for more supplies. Meanwhile in the fridge, the cottage cheese is squashed right at the back and thinking of leaking or freezing in protest, the half jar of gherkins is complaining about being overlooked for months and the lemon curd is looking sourly at the smug green Kronenburg 1664 interlopers.

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