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Who's an ennobled boy then, as Boris honours his dog

A row is brewing following reports that in his resignation honours nominations, Boris Johnson, has nominated his dog Dilyn for the post of Most Munificent and Mighty Pet Tsar.

The appointment is being seen as all the more odd because no such position currently exists. Nevertheless, sources close to the blundering buffoon say the pooch's name is definitely on the list.

One commented: 'Boris is rather fond of the little chap and feels the golden kennel and diamond-encrusted collar he's demanding accompany the title, will be a well-deserved reward for being a dog. As a matter of fact, Boris has further requested the world's largest diamond, The Koh-i-Noor, be removed from the crown jewels and given pride of place in the collar.'

The source clarified that on the leaked honours list, where it says "Patrick Stanley Johnson" at the top, it should of course, have read "Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson". 'We all know Boris doesn't do detail, hence the Northern Ireland Protocol, Brexit in general and his list of children in Wikipedia.'

When asked if perhaps Mr. Johnson might be showing signs of advanced megalomania, the source replied. 'No not at all. If this kind of thing was good enough for Caligula, then why not for World King Boris?'

H/T: throngsman

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