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You can march, but only one leg

In an attempt to curb Peace Protestors, the Met has issued a warning that anyone caught in groups of more than two will designated traitors. 'We will not directly ban the march, but all participants must be blindfolded and play the banjo.'

One protestor complained: 'These are just arbitrary rules. Whoever heard of have to recite the Lord's Prayer backwards in Swahili, while juggling a chainsaw and cantaloupe?'

The police clarified: 'You can march but only on ley lines, when it's a harvest moon and only when the Spice Girls reform. People have the right to protest, if accompanied by Dodo riding a Unicorn. And only on Leap Years.'

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