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Your new house share inmate not fitting in how you hoped she might

Updated: Dec 7, 2021

Your new house share, Donna, has become a nightmare, although when she came to view the room just three weeks ago, she seemed to be a perfect fit for you, Tony and Maria.

However alarm bells began to ring within three hours of her having moved in when you detected a musty smell coming from her room. After tapping politely on the door, but to no avail, you coughed loudly and turned the handle. Your heart sank immediately as you found her dancing stark-naked in front of a little mini-temple. Joss sticks were scenting the air with pungent patchouli oil incense.

Your concern intensified as she seemed quite at ease with her nudity. ‘Hi Simon, no, please don’t apologise, I’m cleansing the room's negative thoughts and feelings. Probably just leftover memories from the last tenant’s chakras. Why not get naked and join me,’ she suggested.

Of course you refused but since then things have become even worse. She continually plays Tibetan Nose Flute music at all hours and has commandeered the second shelf in the fridge, insisting that none of you contaminate her ‘special food’ with your Tesco chill-cook ready meals and non-vegan cheeses.

She’s out for the day at some kind of meditation course, and after an emergency house meeting you have been elected to serve notice when she comes back. It’s going to be awkward but as Tony said: ‘Letting the room to Maria's Mum after a messy divorce was always going to be a bit of a fifty-fifty call.’

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