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As Finland prepares to join NATO, all the residents of Moominvalley are arming themselves to the teeth. Quizzed about their state of readiness should the Red Army invade, Moominspokesman said, ‘We're like a snowy Viet Cong. Moominpappa now wears an ammo belt of grenades and is an expert with shoulder launched RPGs. Moomintroll, Snork Maiden and Snufkin can all assemble and disassemble an AK47 while blindfolded. Moominmamma’s handbag is full of knives and throwing stars. She can silently...

Some newly elected bad apples have barely had time to fester and stink up the place before being forced to resign over being really bad apples. These apples were bitter and disgusting and wouldn’t even have made the grade for a supermarket's own brand cider. The curiously well-funded orchard - where these bad apples are grown - have tried to claim that, despite a few bad apples, the rest of the barrels are unaffected. That is despite the putrid stench caused by all the things those apples...