The soccer world has been rocked by allegations that Reg Tupper, owner of Isle of Wight Top Tiles Premiership team Athletico Cowes may have been poisoned. An ashen-faced Reg has briefed the world’s sporting press:- “We were cock-a-hoop on Saturday after we had done the double over our fiercest rivals Sporting Shanklin. Naturally I took the lads out to a slap-up meal afterwards to celebrate. I treated everyone to the very finest from Dave’s Doners van – with all the trimmings of course. We...

One of the worst-kept entertainment secrets has now been revealed. Netflix have commissioned a brand new series of the legendary 1970s sitcom. It is also confirmed that Emma Thompson has been appointed as Executive Director / Producer. At a media briefing she gushed:- “On The Buses, (or OTB as us thesps call it!) was the drama series that inspired me to become an actress, and has formed the backdrop to my life, relationships and work ever since. I have already approached my dear friend Salmy...

Tensions remain high in the Solent region today following the detection of a balloon flying over the island. An Isle of Wight Department of Home Defence spokesperson briefed reporters. “Yesterday our Advanced Early Warning System – Cowes Neighbourhood Watch – reported an object subsequently identified as a balloon illegally entering our airspace. It was tracked as it travelled inland, passing over a number of sensitive garden centres and charity shops sowing panic and confusion amongst the...