Border Force officials are pleased to see the back of an asylum seeker finally deported to Ethiopia today. The press are reporting that the man was paid £500 so that he wouldn't make a fuss. Insiders say that he got a lot more than £500. Our source said, 'That man was an ace negotiator. He was relentless. He asked for, and received, all kinds of amazing stuff. 'He got a signed photograph of Sir Mark Rowley, head of the Met Police, so that he could show his family who had lost out big time at...

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