The US president issued an executive order today saying that everyone should call him Honest Donald or get sued.

'People are slating the president for making himself out to be Jesus in a picture,' said a spokes-priestess for the White House. 'But Jesus is the fraud and Donald Trump's the real deal.

I guess we've all had days when we've been trying to get some ships out through a tight exit but found it clogged up with Iranian mines and sea drones. That's where new Trump Block-Aid could come in handy.