The BBC says it will be giving its TV current affairs programme Panorama a complete make-over following revelations that reporter Martin...

Britain's only supersonic rail journey, taking commuters from Manchester to London Euston in under 10 minutes, has been cancelled by the Office of the Rail Regulator in next year's timetable changes. The imaginary service, operated by 13-year-old Gavin Spectacles from Crewe on his Hornby OO-gauge train set, was axed after repeated pleas from his mum. "He should be playing football across the road in the Rec instead of sitting in the attic watching them things go round and round," she said....

Dear happy commuters and supersaver ticket holders, We in the Labour government are thrilled to unveil the exciting new name for Britain's renationalised train company. We'll be calling it Gordon Bennett Railways, because this mild expletive is what you're most likely to be muttering while on board, as in: 'Gordon Bennett, this train's fuller than a can of sardines.' 'Gordon Bennett, we've been waiting in this cutting outside Crewe for a sodding age.' And: 'Gordon Bennett, the points have...