An increasingly common yet baffling creature emerges from the sleet: the British Man in Knee-Length Shorts. It's -2°C, it's frosty and somewhere, a car won't start. Yet there he is.

In a press conference held beside a stack of gilded MAGA hats, President Donald Trump announced his intention to annex Trumptonshire, having ‘done tremendous research’ by watching several YouTube clips late at night. Trump praised the county as ‘very British, very quaint, frankly very annexable’, apparently unaware that Trumptonshire is a fictional setting from a 1960s UK children’s television series. “People are saying it’s not real,” Trump said, waving away questions. “But I saw it on...

A father of two was described as the most shocked individual present during his household’s Christmas celebrations, after watching his children open a series of gifts he had never seen before. Witnesses say Tom Perry, 42, was visibly surprised as each gift was unwrapped, audibly gasping at items that appeared to align uncannily well with his children’s personalities, interests, and correct clothing sizes. “Wow,” Perry exclaimed, after one present was opened. “I never knew they liked Lego.” As...