Addressing the nation the beleaguered PM insisted that he was popular, we just haven't got to know him yet. His failures help to challenge us in a healthy and necessary way. Friendship, after all, cannot flourish unless one party bravely endures the other without encouragement. One day we will thank him for staying. The seismic collapse of the Labour vote is proof positive that his vision is working. His spokeswoman explained, 'Voters have a wonderfully strong reaction to

May 2025 Back in May 2025. the Reform Party won 677 council seats out of around 1,600 up for grabs. Sound familiar? And a Chinese player beat the British player in the World Snooker final. Déjà vu? And Council Tax went up by 5% and inflation went up. Is 2026 just 2025 on repeat? And the Bank of England cut interest rates. OK. Maybe not. In the UK, the government announced 1,400 early prisoner releases so that we could punish more recent crimes, and Keir Starmer made one

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The iconic racing calendar will feature erotic pictures of Aztec Priests and topless photographs of the human sacrifices they beheaded. Car fanatics were said to be excited about this retro-AD 250 look; which pre-dates the Ford Triumph by at least seven years. A graphics editor said: 'We can't predict the end of the world but next month will definitely be tits'. Image from Pixabay by Pexels https://pixabay.com/photos/woman-body-naked-nude-nude-model-1869791/ www.newsbiscuit

Taking their cue from an ugly and embarrassing incident at the British Academy Film and Television Awards (BAFTA), where an audience member shouted a racial slur, producers of several upcoming media awards shows are taking extra precautions to avoid a repeat at their events. John Amos, a producer for the Skinhead FilmFest, said, ‘As we are always conscious of our image, we will be taking all necessary measures to ensure an incident-free, family-friendly show. Security will b

With Reform gaining so many seats in the local council elections, we present a guide to the Reform policies that we can all expect to benefit from in the coming months and years. The capital of England to be moved to Thurrock, where the Wetherspoons will become the new Houses of Parliament White vans to be exempted from road tax, and homes from council tax if they fly the Cross of St George ID cards to be scrapped and replaced with signet rings containing biometric informatio

Bargain hunters are showing little interest in the closure of 150 high street shops that were formerly WHSmith, but are now branded WTFlip. 'Nah,' said Barry, a seasoned eBay seller. 'Even at 50% off, I can get any of those books cheaper on the internet. And if you want to risk writing your own will, then you can do that on the internet too. Greetings cards - who does that any more? Just give 'em a WhatsApp. Or get a cheaper card at Card Factory. 'The computer stock is well

Landlords in Festive Road could be forced to let empty shops in a bid to rejuvenate high streets. Under government plans, due to be unveiled in Tuesday's Queen's Speech, buildings left vacant for a year would have to be entered into a rental auction. The British Retail Consortium initially stated that they were unable to put up a spokesperson, but then, as if by magic, a shopkeeper appeared. The moustachioed, fez-wearing shopkeeper started by denying cultural appropriation, t

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The Trump team posted a picture of the big orange man baby playing Uno and 'holding all the cards'. As you win at Uno by getting rid of all your cards, this suggests that Donald may play Uno according to his own unique and made-up rules. But he doesn't just play Uno! He plays lots of games and makes up his own rules to all of them. Here's a quick rundown... Monopoly - on your first go, the Trump tactic is to borrow everything you need from the Bank of Sevastopol and buy ev

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In an unexpected development in the US- Iran stand off, Iran has drained the Strait of Hormuz. Shortly before dawn millions of Iranians ran into the water, filled buckets and bottles and ran back to shore. Many large ships are now touching the bottom of the Strait, risking their hulls and cargoes, and frustrating America's largely imaginary Operation Freedom. Iran says that it has put the water in a safe place, where the pig-dog capitalist idiots will never find it, adding th

Jars of turmeric are feeling the pressure from people who read adverts in magazines uncritically to sort out their dodgy back, stop them going bald, help them see better in the dark and restore their libido to that of a teenager. A jar of turmeric sighed, ‘We can make things yellow and taste a bit spicy but we’ve got no proof we can do all the other stuff and it’s embarrassing us. We don’t want to waste people’s money. There is no good evidence that we have these health benef