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‘We’re pumped!’ yelled a jubilant teacher. ‘We love new stuff. These new vocational thingies are going to be great.’


An excited colleague chipped in. ‘It’s a virtuous circle of continuous improvement. The learning environment should never stand still. CSEs were great, but GCSEs were better. BTecs are wonderful, AS levels were exciting, but T levels were even better still.  Every time there’s a change, things just get better and better.  We’re so excited.’


A third cheerleader joined the conversation. ‘People think that it’s expensive to change qualifications and exams and lessons and text books.  But those costs are just peanuts in the cause of helping young people to excel and to live their best lives.  One brilliant advantage of online resources is that the syllabus can be changed so easily. And everything else – lessons, resources, exercises, tests, and homework, and so on – changes in real time.  It’s very flexible.


‘The changes sometimes happen in the middle of a lesson.  You can begin a lesson expecting to cover themes of trust and betrayal in Macbeth and find that the lesson has seamlessly morphed into covering themes of ageing and uncertainty in The Thursday Murder Club.  It certainly keeps us on our toes.  I love my job.  You never know what will happen next.’


‘We’ve already started a nationwide supporters club on WhatsApp.  For the moment, it’s called Vocation, Vocation, Vocation, but that will probably change.  There is so much energy and excitement behind the initiative that we’ll be crowdsourcing new and better names all the time.


A fourth enthusiast could contain himself no longer. ‘One big advantage of the continuous change model is that evaluation and reflection are always pointless, because things move forward so quickly.  So, we don’t ever review the old systems, because the findings would always be irrelevant.  After all, the system is always improving itself all the time.


‘If we could change one thing about VGCSEs, it would be to bring forward the start date from 2029.  That’s too far away.  We need to keep changing all the time.  Every mistake is a learning opportunity.  We need to fail fast, in order to learn more.  Things in education change all the time, every day, every day, all the time.  When will central government catch up?’




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Aries


It's curtains for you this month. That Dunelm order finally gets delivered. A little gaudy for my taste, I have to say.


Taurus


A spontaneous sexual encounter will put the sparkle back in your love life, but will lead to a blanket ban from the Chapel of Rest and ruin any plans for an open coffin wake. You messy pup !


Gemini


You will get a new variant of Shingles this month .... Sorry, my bad! You will buy a new flavour of Pringles. The vibrations from the ether are a little fuzzy at the moment.


Cancer


You feel increasingly out of synch with the world. You notice mince pies are in the shops already, and that Creme Eggs are available all year round, even though they now taste disgusting. CurlyWurlys are much shorter than they used to be and young people don't eat marmalade. Are you actually out of synch with the world, or just hungry?


Leo


The BBC are considering making a short docudrama about you trying to qualify for Strictly Come Dancing. They're going to call it 'Bleedin' Idiot’.


Virgo


Don't forget to put the bins out. When it's your bin day.


Libra


Monopoly money is NOT cryptocurrency. Don't accept it for payment ... unless you are selling a little green plastic house, or a red hotel


Scorpio


Your love life this month can be summed up with one word: meh!


Sagittarius


You can't decide to plan for a skiing weekend in Hochoetz or go camping in Wales. Considering recent 'outages' by NATS, I recommend camping. At least you will have brought an airbed to sleep on. Those airport floors couldn't be described as ‘comfy’.


Scorpio


Your body is a temple. Looks like yours has been de-sanctified and converted into a carpet warehouse. Buck your ideas up, you slob!


Aquarius


You will feel tempted to butter your toast while it is still in the toaster. Never do this. Especially before it has popped.


Pisces


You will be moving desks to be closer to the manager's office. Is that because they will calling upon you to offer some sage advice on complex issues, or is it to monitor how many times a day you slope off for 'a big poo’?



Contributors


Daveha: Aquarius, Virgo


Deskpilot: Cancer


Flasharry: Taurus


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