Who doesn’t love a bit of rhyming slang? We love it because it is very British wordplay, it’s how ordinary people talk, not the toffs, and it reminds us of East Enders. Duff, duff, duff…
Well, language is constantly changing, so we asked our intrepid step-daughters (reporters) to suggest some updated rhyming slang. Here’s what they came up with:
Celebs
Oily garage (‘oily’) – Nigel Farage
Oily sump (‘oily’) – Donald Trump
Oily body (‘oily’) – Narendra Modi
Lettuce – Liz Truss (obviously…)
Jeffery Epstein – unclean
Liz Truss – fuss
JD Vance - interpretive dance (eg. ‘Could you explain that using the medium of JD Vance?’)
Nigel Farage – bullshit barage
(Kemi) Badenoch - crock (probably not filled with gold)
Malaise
Robert Jenrick - sick, or taking the mick
Liz Truss – cystitis
Wallace and Gromit - vomit (eg. ‘Look out, don't step in the Wallace’)
Harry Styles - piles
Farmer Giles - piles
Nobby Stiles - piles
Brandreth, Giles – piles. See also Emma Freud.
Train delays
Frisky colt – train fault (eg. ‘Sorry I'm an hour late for work, Northern Rail frisky, innit?:’
Deep sea diver - got no driver
Oak and pine - leaves on the line
Peter Purves - no trolley service
Croydon and Purley - went home early
Stupid Berks - over-running engineering works
Miscellaneous
Snapchat - prat
Underperform - Reform
Mar-a-lago - farago (eg. ‘It were a right mar’)
With contributions from deskpilot, FlashArry, Lockjaw, Walter Eagle, Sirlupus, Sinnick, and Beau-jolly. Well done, team!
Image credit (if any is deserved): perchance.org edited in Wix
