Taking full blame for the Mid-Term losses, the President said he would transcend human form – and that “sorry” was too small a word for what he was. He also forgave the Democrats, concluding that their dislike of him was simply the universe struggling to understand itself.
Speaking from the Mount, Trump became so profoundly self-aware that every criticism of him was instantly answered with: “Yes. That too is me”. A spokeswoman said he intends to relinquish his ego completely, dissolving into light, atoms, trees, oceans and distant galaxies, ‘He will achieve a total union with existence itself. He’s genuinely the centre of the universe, and technically everybody else must also be him.’
Mr Trump admitted it had been his fault for the wars and economic chaos and that Fake News was Fake. The spokeswoman confirmed, ‘If you spend long enough staring into a mirror you will pass through vanity entirely and emerge out the other side as pure consciousness. Mr. Trump is nothing, possibly the greatest nothing there has ever been.’
