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Leading TV presenter ‘had no idea’ Mr.Blobby was just a man in a pink rubber costume

Writer: Gerontius
Gerontius
2 days ago

A leading TV presenter is said to be shocked after finding out that a long standing work colleague and fellow presenter was simply a man dressed in a pink rubber costume.


The presenter said he was ‘genuinely unaware’ that fellow entertainer and BBC legend Mr.Blobby was not actually a real person.


Mr.Blobby has been a regular on our screens since first appearing on Noel’s House Party, an alleged light entertainment programme popular in the 1990s.


Despite being over 7ft tall, boasting a bright pink skin covered in yellow spots the presenter said he had no reason to doubt Mr.Blobby was anything but real.


‘He always came across as a mischievous character full of fun and out for a laugh’ said the veteran presenter ‘it was sometimes difficult to understand what he was saying due to a wecurwing speech impediment….but it never let it affect his caweer and often used the impediment to comic effect’.


The presenter said he was horrified to learn that that Blobby had a thick impenetrable skin and would now think twice about asking him onto his couch again.


Mr.Blobby was asked for a comment but all he had to say on the matter was…….




Nation realises it was groomed to enjoy Little Britain

eppursimuove
2 days ago

A sadder, wiser nation has risen this morning to realise that whilst it thought it had loved the Noughties sketch show Little Britain, it had in fact been a victim of grooming.


“There were trailers on TV telling you it was going to be on later, pieces about the stars in the papers - all the classic signs were there,” said repentant fan Simon Clunge.


”Worst of all, people were constantly repeating the show’s catchphrases - computer says no, the only gay in the village, yeah but no but yeah, and so on. And where are those people now, eh? The enablers? Their silence is deafening, frankly.”


”I for one am glad it’s been removed from the iPlayer, though in recent years each episode was only about seven minutes long, with the amount they’d had to take out… not that I watched them myself, obviously, but I think someone told me that… someone I don’t speak to any more, of course…”


In fact, even as he spoke, people were losing their jobs over ancient social media posts in which they used the show’s catchphrases, or even admitted to liking it. They were then rounded up in the public square, pelted with rotten fruit and subjected to re-education sessions.


Surprised to find himself rounded up was Simon Clunge, who insisted he only repeated the catchphrases so we’d know what he was talking about, not in a spirit of admiration. This defence, however, was not accepted, and he was sent to do 10 years hard labour until he learned that punching down like that was simply not acceptable.


His last words as he was dragged off were “At least I didn’t say Jehovah.”




UK shocked to learn Walliams is under suspicion

Writer: Throngsman
Throngsman
4 days ago

With the lifting of the injunction, the UK now knows it doesn't have to speculate about who is under suspicion.


'I never expected it to be the celebrity with all the ghost written books,' said Sam (46).  His friends asked him to narrow down the list.


'I said to my wife, Cindy, it was the creepy one off Britain's Got Talent,' said Graham (38).  Cindy asked, 'which one?'


Harry is certain he knew who to suspect long before the injunction was lifted.  'It was the unfunny one from Little Britain,' he said.  We're still not much wiser.


We assume it will remain  mystery.




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