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It’s nearly here. There’s hardly any time left to prepare – so act fast! You can almost taste the excitement and the indifference...
If you love the Olympics, then...
• Learn a few useful French phrases – merde, paf, ouf, for example
• Buy a bigger telly. Or maybe buy another telly so you can watch two things at once
• Impress friends by learning all the different cycling events
• Add lots of snacks and fizzy drinks to your online shopping order
• Order doughnuts, so you can make your own high-calorie tribute to the Olympic rings
• Get loads of booze in
• Draft those ‘dicky tummy’ emails so you’re ready to tell work you’re sick
If you hate the Olympics, then...
• Start a swear box for anyone attempting to speak in French
• Hide the telly. Download lots of audiobooks, or get your LP collection out of the loft
• Start drafting complaints to the BBC about how much sports presenters are paid
• Add lots of snacks and fizzy drinks to your online shopping order
• Get loads of booze in
• Draft those ‘dicky tummy’ emails so you’re ready to tell work you’re sick
Picture credit: Wix AI