God complains about 'mixed messages' in World Cup prayers

Mr A. God has said that contradictory prayers from football supporters are making his life very difficult.

'I'm getting requests for victories from all sides - England, Germany, Senegal, the lot. And some very specific prayers for things like a final score of England 9, DR Congo 1, or for Kane to score in the ninetieth minute. I don't know what that's all about.

'I'm even being asked to help get Scotland back into the last 32. I mean I'm not a miracle worker. No, wait...'

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