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All across the world, fans of Meghan and Harry watched in amazement as the plucky underdogs peppered their all-powerful opponents with shot upon shot, finally putting paid to their hopes of survival.


“They were fouling us from start to finish,” said the Duke of Sussex, brandishing a stream of yellow and red cards at the couple’s bruised opponents as they limped away.


“But we stuck to our truth, put in a lot of damaging shots, and came away with a result.”


“The Royal Family can learn a good lesson from this,” said the Duchess.


“They arrogantly thought they were the Brazil of world monarchies - the crème de la crème, and completely invincible. But now look at them – humiliated by the underdogs and progressing no further.


Harry and Meghan now go on to their next round of documentaries in which they'll be taking on the Pope - a tough opponent who many pundits consider to be infallible.




First published 11 Dec 2022


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England manager Thomas Tuchel has rebuffed claims that his side is lucky after being drawn in the same 2026 World Cup group as American 70s disco outfit Village People.


The band brought Friday’s World Cup draw to a close performing their smash hit ‘YMCA’ moments after unexpectedly been drawn to face England in group L next summer. The group is completed by the South-West Region Lidl works team, and the winner of the play-off between Easter Island and the Harlem Globetrotters.


‘There are no easy games in the World Cup’ says Tuchel. ‘Village People may be past their best, but they have a very good youth system, and are always encouraging young players to come along and hang out with all the boys.


‘And, of course, the Lidl works team won the South-West Region League by 4 points. As long as they can keep their star striker ‘Fat Morph’ fit, by which I mean sober, then they could be dangerous. After all, Lidl are a German company, and you know the old saying in football – ‘never write off the Germans, or their discount supermarkets’.'


Meanwhile, Scotland have been drawn in the same group as Brazil, and will face the 5-time winners 3 times over 10 days, with only the group winners going through to the knock-out stages.


‘It's a tough draw’ says Scotland manager Steve Clarke. ‘We had been expecting to be drawn in a group with 3 other teams, but to be in a group with just Brazil, and to have to play them 3 times in 10 days in the soaring heat, is going to be difficult.


‘Before the draw we had hoped we might sneak into the last 32 by being one of the best placed 3rd placed teams, but as there are only 2 teams in the group, that’s going to be quite tricky’.


‘Still stranger things have happened in international football, like Donald Trump being awarded a peace prize by FIFA. What’s next? Is Benjamin Netanyahu going to be presented with the Nobel Prize for Chemistry before the draw for the fourth round of the Carabao Cup?’



Image credit: perchance.org


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