Two year old "prick" shortlisted for next FIFA peace prize

Clacton toddler, Wayne Jenkins, has been shortlisted for the 2027 FIFA Peace Prize.

Rachel Meadon has been a babysitter for Wayne and speaking from her hospital bed, Ms Meadon issued the statement, "My god, that little ****?"

FIFA president, Gianni Infantino, explained the decision. "Our first thought was to give it to Donald Trump again but in the long tradition of the peace prize, no one has received it twice. So we spread the net a bit wider and we discovered on a childcare WhatsApp group a video of a screaming toddler throwing not only his toys out of his pram but also the pram itself and we felt we'd found our man, er, child.