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Local authority sets up alternative to Fifa World Cup



Given the current domestic political unrest in the US, and the ridiculously inflated FIFA pricing protocols, the Scottish local authority of Fife has decided to create the FIFE World Cup.


"Aye, going back tae the guid auld days is whit we're after," said President of Fife World Cup, Joe Havelunch, from the World Cup HQ in Glenrothes. "We'll be makin' use o' three existing world class stadiums. One in Dunfermline, hame of the Athletic, one in Methil, hame tae East Fife, and the other in Kirkcaldy, hame tae Raith Rovers. These hae a combined capacity of over 22,000. Not much over, mind you, but this is oor first World Cup, so baby steps tae begin wi'


"Hotel accommodation is plentiful and cheap. I've spoken personally tae the head of the Fife Tourist Board, and I've been reassured that even if both the Premier Inn and the Travelodge here in Glenrothes are fully booked, Mrs Teuchter always has a couple of spare beds in her wee glamping pods at Pitscottie.

"Transport and infrastructure could not be easier. Did ye ken that the two main routes into Fife, the Forth Road Bridge and the Clackmannan Bridge, are toll free? And nae remarks aboot us Scots missin' an opportunity there, right?


"And if the extreme situation occurs where Mr Trump has difficulty deciding whether he prefers Fife tae Fifa, I'm pretty sure the presence of a wee old golf course or two in St Andrews might just swing the balance. And nae need for fake prizes or awards.



"Aye, we hope to ensure that all the matches in our World Cup live up to the famous old free-scoring standard of East Fife 5 : Forfar 4 "

FIFA/Battlefield cross over in new FIFA 2026 World War Cup video game


Video game producer EA Sports makes the FIFA football game franchise and also the Battlefield series, so it makes total sense to combine these two for gamer pleasure and current geopolitical relevance. And also money.

With one the current hosts of the world cup (USA) involved in the bombing of the last hosts (Qatar), it’s pretty crazy out there. The hosts before that (Russia) are the players primary antagonist in most Battlefield games so it is clear that the two games formats were destined to be linked.


Kharg Island, a key strategic seaport for Iran’s oil, is a highly detailed game map in Battlefield 3, the new update will feature a 70,000 seat football stadium in which players can play 11 Vs 11 death matches.


Both games combine shooting, defence and boxes full of loot. Mainly used for FIFA bribes or to get children addicted to gambling. Either way a win for EA games.


The 2030 hosts, Morocco, Portugal, Spain, Uruguay, Argentina, and Paraguay are somewhat reluctant to get involved in any worldwide-based tournament to the death. The journalist we sent to question the 2034 hosts, Saudi Arabia, has not been seen for a while.



Trump starts World Cup without notice, and declares US the winner


The United States has claimed a large number of byes in the impending World Cup as a result of the President declaring the competition was open months before the official start date.


'We didn't tell the world we were going into Iran and we haven't told the world we're leaving Iran - yet,' he said today.  'So with all the time in the world  on our hands we decided to start the World Cup early.  We've won all the qualifiers by default and are in the final next weekend with Iran - if they bother to turn up.  If they don't then it will save ICE arresting them and declaring the US as the 2026 World Cup winners.  FIFA will present the World Cup to me personally and it will go into my Presidential Library along with all the Olympic medals we will win next month when the Olympics will start and finish two years early. 




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