Despite having other fish frying, Russian despot Vladimir Putin, has been quick off the mark and becomes the first world leader to congratulate Will Smith, after the Men In Black star sensationally decked presenter Chris Rock live on stage at the Oscars ceremony. A Kremlin spokesman said: 'This is pure gold for Mr Putin. It has shown the world there is an even bigger twonk than he is. With such an ill-judged action in the full glare of the world's media, this mudak, Smith, makes Mr Putin look...

Following recent reports from the Trump administration, suggesting high levels of dissatisfaction over how its key personnel were depicted in recent press photographs, a brief White House statement was released this morning. "It is extremely important our most glorious, serene and sainted leaders be depicted by media outlets as nothing short of the demigods they are. The people of America can now relax following the appointment of personal grooming assistants, hairstylists and makeup artists...

As global affairs become more surreal by the minute, Donald Trump's press secretary, Caroline Leave-It-Out, today told the world's media, 'In a brilliant masterstroke of military genius, the problematic Strait of Hormuz will be renamed. 'The President, as we all know, is an incredible war strategist,' grovelled the shameless yes person, 'and he has moved swiftly to sort out this matter. So this big lake thing, or whatever the heck it is, will be renamed to something more suitable, and when...