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Polio in, abortion out - welcome to the good old days

Jacob Rees-Mogg has reportedly paid his apothecary a handful of guineas to release the polio vaccine as part of his plan to get back to...

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Football transfer gossip to replace actual football

An internal Celestial Sports memo is to recommmend they stop showing actual football to focus solely on football transfers and gossip....

Throngsman

Man happily surprised to find out all fast track places sold at airport

Martin Bosworth's annual stress-inducing trip to the Algarve, accompanied by his wife and at least three children he recognises, was...

SimonJMr

'Big Dog Big Eats' cookbook launched by Tory party

Jacob Rees-Mogg today announces that he has teamed up with fellow Tory progeny Nigella Lawson to launch a cookbook aimed at helping the...

Caption Competition: Friday 8th July

You can either reply to this post or reply to our Twitter/Facebook pages. The closing date for the competition will be Friday night or...

Sadiq Khan's Fart and Ride Scheme Still Has Emissions Issues, Say Experts.

Winner: Lockjaw Runners-Up: "Scientists celebrate first tandem successfully separated into two bicycles." (sydalg); "Prankster superglues...

New BBC Adaptation of Pride and Prejudice Has Some Glaring Continuity Errors

Winner: Paul L Runners-Up: "Good morning. Welcome to the technoclaustrophobic trauma hotline. How may I help you?" (SteveB); "Jacob Rees...

News Biscuit Podcast 15: Hairy Cheese, Yellow Snow and the Railway Children

Episode 15:. Hairy Cheese, Yellow Snow and the Railway Children https://youtu.be/gK-iEB3wGY0 Comedy news from NewsBiscuit Featuring...

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UK will defend all borders…just not Scotland

The Ministry of Defense confirmed: ‘The frozen tundra of Caledonia or the ‘Dead Zone’, as it is referred to by the Tories at election...

U2 to offer a free iPhone with every album

In a futile attempt to boost sales and keep Adam Clayton in hair dye, the Irish rock band have been forced to entice listeners with...

Blood sucking bankers go from metaphor to fact

A banking representative, or ‘thrall’ as he preferred to be known, explained that any rumours of fluids or assets being drained were a...

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