UK signs 100 year treaty with no concept of time
An aide said: This is fantastic, we'll be tied to the Ukraine for 100 years - what could possibly go wrong?
Fascists vent fury as Musk gets salute wrong
Fascists around America and the world vented their fury yesterday following Elon Musk’s limp attempt at the Sieg Heil salute.
Trump pardons all registered Republican voters
All registered Republican voters had been pardoned for the crime of voting for Donald Trump.
Keir Starmer rebuts 'sprout eater' jibe
The Prime Minister has issued a comprehensive rebuttal after an American billionaire and social media tech geek called him a 'sprout eater'.
Elon Musk's Rocket Explodes in Huge Metaphor
Nine minutes after launching on its latest test flight, Elon Musk's starship project experienced an anomaly, causing a huge metaphor to...
Wicked Tories have stolen the economic growth lever, claim Labour
"We always said the Tories were vile and callous," said the Labour Party's chief economic strategist, "but we never thought they would...
Government seeks good looking female prison officers to put them out of prisoners’ league
Following a series of scandals in which female prison officers seek a little animal pleasure in the confines of a cell with dangerous...
MuskBot recalled for system upgrade
TeslaCorps has been forced to recall all MuskBot 3000 models as a major system fault has been discovered. The MuskBot series were...
Peace in Gaza is just pieces
A ceasefire has finally broken out in Gaza, as there are no more Palestinians to kill and Israel has finally run out of bullets....
Labour to massively expand in-patient mental care for its critics
"For far too long," said a Labour party spokes-shrink, wielding a straight jacket in one hand and a sedative in the other, "British...