UK ready for next Village Idiot
As Keir Starmer prepares to resign, the nation eagerly awaits the next numbskull to be outsmarted by a stapler. Said one voter, ‘It’s like waiting for Christmas, where all your parcels conceal a shiny turd. Will be it be Wes Streeting, will it be Andy Burnham, who knows, who cares, whoever it is will be will treat the welfare of the nation like optional side quests.’ The new PM will need to harness Starmer’s electrifying energy of a man trying to push a pull door for three fu
USA forced into peace deal with algae in Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool
After an Apache AH-64 crashed into the Washington Monument whilst strafing the algae with it’s 30mm chain cannon, the USA agreed to a cease fire and reparations to the algae in the Reflecting Pool. ICE Agents had initially been instructed to detain and then send the menace back to Algeria. After repeated attempts to cuff the algae and beat it with truncheons, ICE had to retreat when agents electrocuted themselves whilst trying to TASER some of the unicellular organisms. A SWA
