USA forced into peace deal with algae in Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool
After an Apache AH-64 crashed into the Washington Monument whilst strafing the algae with it’s 30mm chain cannon, the USA agreed to a cease fire and reparations to the algae in the Reflecting Pool. ICE Agents had initially been instructed to detain and then send the menace back to Algeria. After repeated attempts to cuff the algae and beat it with truncheons, ICE had to retreat when agents electrocuted themselves whilst trying to TASER some of the unicellular organisms. A SWA
Starmer's resignation speech leaked to the press
With the curtain coming down on his premiership, Prime Minister (at the time of writing) Sir Keir Starmer is said to be outraged that his resignation speech has been leaked to the press, as they may necessitate a delay in the resignation as he prepares a replacement. Downing Street sources meanwhile are disputing the authenticity of the speech. But they would, wouldn't they? The speech in full is reproduced below. 'It has been a great honour to be Prime Minister of this grea
