Mandelson told vetting team he was mates with Einstein
Following an intense, dramatic and absolutely no-stone-unturned investigation in Downing Street, it has emerged that the Prime Minister’s elite high-level security vetting team simply believed everything Peter Mandelson told them, because he wore a nice suit. The inquiry was launched after Labour MPs raised concerns that the government’s vetting process appeared to involve asking candidates 'Are you dodgy?' A senior investigator explained how the process unfolded. 'It starte
Starmer fires Lord Vader, but finds it difficult to remove his title
Darth Vader appears to be reluctant to relinquish his tight, black leather grip on his title and finds Starmer’s lack of faith in him disturbing. The prime Minister made the following statement: 'We knew of his ties to the disgraced Emperor, Darth Sidious, who wanted to establish absolute eternal rule over the galaxy, before we rehired him. However, Darth assured us, with a simple hand gesture and prompting phrase, that we should just move on. I feel deceived by him to be h
