Old guy who says 'it's a funny old world' not laughing

Edgar Chronic, 78, is known locally for his life mantra that 'it's a funny old world'. For some reason he stopped using the phrase when the winter fuel allowance was stopped last year and for reasons not fully understood failed to resume laughing after his daughter, Brenda, mentioned that she supported the watered down assisted dying bill.

Experts studying Edgar did discern a flicker of a smile when the US bombed Iran. He was heard to mutter something about everyone getting an assisted death now.

Photo by yerling villalobos on Unsplash

World hoping Iran less psychotic than USA & Israel

President Trump is basing his strategy, on the hope that Iran will NOT do what the US/Israel has been doing. Straight from the 'please-turn-the-other-cheek-so-I-can-get--a-really-good-thwack-at-the-other-one' school of diplomacy. As one aide pointed out: ‘It’s not WWIII if the other side forget to respond.’

This puts the Iranian Regime in the unenviable position of having to be the bigger man, while having the $hit bombed out of them. The US was clear: ‘We will not tolerate the proliferation of nuclear bombs and wanton destruction in the Middle East, unless it is done by us, or our mates in Tel Aviv.

‘Iran needs to be grateful that we are breaking every international law, just to free them. Free them from their oil reserves that is.’

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WW3 postponed due to ban on Arabic numerals

As US President Donald Trump personally deploys bunker busting bombs on Iran by leaning out of a B2 bomber, critics who claim he is kick-starting the next World War have been told it isn't true.

'I have signed an Executive Order today banning the numbers used in World Wars belonging to the United States as historically the losers who named them used Arabic numerals. Hence I have insisted that this big, beautiful World War I have started bigly is to be numbered in American numerals. Nobody can start a World War better than me,' added the President.

Experts have tried pointing out that historically Roman numerals have frequently been used, such as World War I and World War II. 'This would make it World War III,' pointed out one expert. An Executive Order banning the use of either 4 or IV after the words 'World War' is considered entirely unnecessary.

Photo by Karl Callwood on Unsplash