Horoscopes for July, by Gen Z and Gen X
- Lockjaw
- 11 minutes ago
- 1 min read
Those readers who aren't hip to their jive may find help understanding what they are blethering on about with these translatorficators:
Aries
Bruh, you’re getting delulu. You need to touch grass pronto.
Taurus
Sis, your new amore gives everyone the icks. They need to take several seats. IYKWIM
Gemini
Dude, you’ll be slaying it this month. You’re the main character for sure.
Cancer
OMG! Big yikes for you this month. You’ll be spotted doing something really cheugy with your parents!!
Leo
Don’t be tempted to drag someone in your fam this month. Unless you want to catch their hands. Just vibe. ‘Kay?
Virgo
Don’t get finessed by that new dude. They’re sus. No cap.
Libra
You’ll have a wicked time this month. Looks like you’ll be getting piggy with that bodacious new bestie. Mos’ def!
Scorpio
Someone is going to try and psych you out this month. Just chill. Don’t let them harsh your mellow. They’ll pack it in soon enough. True dat.
Sagittarius
What can I say? You’ll have a bummer of a month. Stay in your crib and catch up on your zeds.
Capricorn
Booyah! Something will come along which will be totally clutch. It will be stellar.
Aquarius
You are going to be a real buzzkill this month, bruh. Don’t be so whack. Otherwise your homies will be telling you to get bent.
Pisces
This month will rock for you brah! Literally, bitchin’ times await. Enjoy to the max.
Image: Lockjaw