Rochdale Man Tells Of His Heartbreak Over Reform Rejection

A semi-literate Rochdale man has broken his silence over the heartbreak of failing to be selected as a Reform candidate in the local elections.

Ian Kerlot, 37, took the unusual step of pleading his case by writing an open letter to Nigel Farage, reproduced below.

'Deer Mr Fromage

I wanna be a counseler or a mp for refom coz I beleve we have to stop the boats and stop forreners taiking are jobs a claming benefits. I didnt go to scool much and hav no qolificasions and i thort that wood count aggenst me but i was amaized to be turned down coz i dont have a crinimal record. I reely wanna make are country grate aggen and i will do anythink to do it so i am gonna beet me misses up or drive a car at a woke lefty / will have to steel it tho coz i ent got a lisens. Plees have a word coz hating forreners is all i have in life.

They shud speek gud Ingurlish like me.

Yorz, Ian Kerlot'

We tried to contact Mr Farage for a comment, but he's famously publicity shy and just like his hero Donald Trump he is currently shitting himself.

Author: cliveoseman

Image: Newsbiscuit Archive