'We have been totally convinced by Mr Farage's explanation that the conversation where he conspired to violate political donation laws was simply loose pub talk. Therefore there is no case to answer' said Sir Derek Dimmo, KBE, of the Crown Prosecution Service.
'I mean, no one ever plans a criminal act in a pub, do they? For instance, if three armed robbers were seriously discussing a raid on a petrol station, they wouldn't do it while drinking lager in a corner of the saloon bar. No. They'd hire a meeting room with a whiteboard and a secretary to take the minutes.
'Except when the petrol station gets robbed 20 minutes after they've downed their pints and got their shooters from the back of their van.
'Hang on,' continued Dimmo. 'Could someone get Mr Farage into an interview room, toot de sweet?'
Image: WixAI
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