Illegal US immigrants to be given $1 billion and a palace

Legal migration to the US has tanked on the news that illegal migration is far more lucrative.

A Brazilian man has found that if all known legal reasons for entering the US are flaunted, America will give you more cash than can be leaf blown and a substantial estate.

'I have been granted access to the National Parks of California to indulge my dream of burning vast areas of protected forests,' he confirmed. 'In addition, I've been afforded the personal security protection of 20,000 ICE agents.

'I merely mentioned that I would also like a little privacy, and they threw in a getaway all to myself on Epstein Island.

'America is the most welcoming and generous nation on Earth. It is truly the land of the free rapists. Everyone should come here illegally.'

Image: WixAI