Nancy Pelosi has stirred up a geopolitical storm by visiting Deadwater Island, a contested territory off the Narnian mainland whose populace continue to claim independence under the rule of self-appointed King Caspian.
Observers warn of increased retaliatory action by the Mighty Imperial Narnian Lion, with warships including the Dawn Treader patrolling the area, and sightings of weaponised dragons overhead. There are also fears of disruption to international supply chains of Turkish Delight, enchanted rings, and animatronic beavers, the island’s bizarre main exports.
Commenting from the Oval Office War Drobe, President Tumnus said: ‘This is not an officially sanctioned visit by the Daughter of Eve, and talking equine negotiators are aiming to lower tensions in time to restore Christmas. Oh! I’ve dropped all my packages again, silly faun. Please don’t report me to the White Witch- I mean, Mrs Tumnus.’