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The US announced today that it’s officially contracting out its foreign policy to Israel.
“It’s not such a big change really,” said White House spokesman Kilgore Strangelove. “We already do exactly what Israel wants in any given situation - we spend almost as much on their military as we do on our own, veto any sanctions against Israel in the UN or anywhere else, and now we’ll support them against the International Criminal Court too. This despite the damage it does to our own reputation, not to mention earning the hatred of the whole Muslim world.
”So really, this just makes official what we were doing anyway.”
The move means Jerusalem will now be able to say that US denounces any new move against Israel, or Netanyahu personally, as “antisemitic” without needing to check first whether it actually does. It’s thought the new arrangement will save “several seconds”, since there’s not the least doubt it would have done so anyway.
image from pixabay
On the premise that the most chaotic and turbulent times produce the greatest art, the US is bracing itself for a creative explosion during the second Trump term - alongside a few actual bombs. The coming years promise a feast of film, music and poetry, and maybe even the discovery of a rhyme for 'orange'.
In America alone, the sixties counter cultural revolution took place against a backdrop of the Vietnam War, while the Reagan 80s saw hip hop become a global force. In the UK the 80s saw the Specials and the Smiths. In Africa, the most successful pop music innovation came from military-era Nigeria, Mobutu's Zaire and apartheid South Africa. While in Europe, the last days of the Iron Curtain produced - well, it works most of the time.
Still, many established artistes are not happy. The fear of a wave of righteously angry newcomers revolutionising the nation's cultural industries is believed to be why so many Hollywood stars opposed Trump. Said one studio mogul, 'I can take half the stars leaving - as if - believe me, I'd be happy to see them go. But please tell me that having a President who's been shot at doesn't mean I have to start taking Oliver Stone's phone calls again!'
Image by Douglas Gustafson from Pixabay
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