The Conservative party has suspended the use of court warrants to force entry into yachts and mansions to fit prepayment meters. An undercover investigation by the Times appears to show a group of senior Tory MPs banging on the door of a Mayfair building before a team of locksmiths and accountants force their way inside.
Vladimir Lobamolotov, a single parent oil trader with close ties to the Kremlin, was too frightened to open his door. Once entry had been gained, the accountants connected his bank account to a direct payment meter.
‘I was terrified,’ said Mr Lobamolotov. ‘I said I was having difficulty keeping up my payments to the party, but they had no sympathy. They said if I didn’t pay, I would have no power.’
The Conservative party treasurer said he had absolutely no idea his MPs were breaking into the homes of vulnerable billionaires and has suspended the practice, focusing instead on helping them consolidate their bungs into a more manageable tariff.
image from pixabay
First published 8 Feb 2023
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- BillClay
- Jun 5, 2025
Updated: Jun 6, 2025
The use of the phrase “Turbocharging” in relation to policies is wasteful and unnecessary for everyday communication. By 2035, all government petrol and diesel engine political references are to be discontinued, and new electrical vehicle-based ones to be used instead, probably from China.
Instead of saying departments are “Firing on all cylinders”, government representatives will experiment with phrases like “rotating between magnetic fields” and “utilising electromagnetism to the max” so not to appear lame and out of touch.
In speeches, the use of “Supercharged” is only to be used in relation to fast charging electric vehicles, rather than a traditional mechanical compressor system. This will definitely not be confusing and will work out really well.
One of the issues with referencing electric motors is that instead of cool sounding kit like 4.2L V6 engines, they have rather pathetic parts, such as “squirrel cages”. This has not done well in focus groups and will therefore be used as much as possible.
image from pixabay