Chinese balloon blown out of proportion
A floaty thing in the sky has made major international news and, strangely, not because it's lovely, or shaped like a dildo.
'Sure, it's a balloon. Sure it's big. Sure it might be used to spy,' said a shady fellow who just stepped out of an infeasible shadow. 'But do you know the level of espionage going on which makes this look like a small child's My First Spying Set? Do you know how many satellites are already capable of monitoring the label on the inside of your underpants from 300 miles up? And you know what military drones can do, right?'
Top American defence scientists are, however, concerned to the point of a bit of wee coming out. 'We are in complete awe of the level of technology. It's just so advanced. Just so innovative. And just so mind-blowingly unlikely. A china balloon? Wow.
'How have they done that? Surely you can't inflate china? And it would be too heavy, right? We're still drinking hot beverages out of our china. But we've instantly begun a high-budget program so we can start catching up on the extraordinary properties of this wonder material that we didn't previously know about. Hey, imagine if you could float tea into your mouth...?'
image from pixabay