A woman claims she was eating a packet of beef flavoured Monster Munch, when she found one in the shape of Jesus’ a*se. Penny Fustercluck, an unemployed motivational speaker from Dulwich said, 'I was watching Loose Women and eating some Monster Munch, when I found one in the exact shape of Jesus’ a*se. I couldn’t believe it! It was such a spiritual experience. I know you’re going to say it could have been anyone’s a*se - but I could tell straight away it was the a*se of Jesus. Who else but...

A strange phenomenon has been appearing across the UK – woolly postbox toppers. They are produced by an invisible army of secret knitters, and no one ever sees these pillar box hats being put into place, they just materialise as if by magic. Using sophisticated surveillance equipment, we managed to track down one of these ninja knitters. Nita Scarfe lives in a tight knit community in Cardigan Bay. She began making postbox toppers to keep herself occupied after a series of failed...

Across the UK, many are having difficulty believing that what’s currently happening is real. There’s a worldwide pandemic that we still haven’t seen the last of. There’s a war in Ukraine, which Putin started just to show how macho he is and prove he can’t possibly be gay, he just likes having photos taken with his top off. And to prove how sane he is, he’s also literally ‘gas-lighting’ Europe, by turning the gas off and on, probably cackling maniacally as he does so. This year, an unprepared...