Following the gunning-down of Alex Pretti, an ICU nurse, in Minneapolis ICE has expressed ‘deep regret’ that he was ‘only’ a nurse. ‘Obviously we want to kill really nice people’, a spokesman said. ‘If we just kill criminals or, I dunno, blacks, it won’t have the same shock value. We really want to see some paediatric oncologists protesting, or maybe a Catholic nun? A nun might do it’. In the hierarchy of ‘audience members stand-up comedians are most wary of’, paediatric oncologists are...

Conservative Party chairman and all-round good guy Nadhim Zahawi has spoken about his embarrassment over the ‘schoolboy errors’ which led...

The Metropolitan Police have defended the practice of giving police officers criminal nicknames rather than investigating their alleged...