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Friday 12th April Met with Prince Sultan Emir bin-Whatsit as you requested. My God, these girls of his are real camels - couldn't take my eyes off their toes and front humps! Nyuk-nyuk!

In an astonishing display of two-faced political shithousery earlier today, British Parliamentarians gave several standing ovations to a man representing everything they abhor and avoid. The subject of the applause was President Zelenskiy of Ukraine. He is renowned for his leadership, honesty, self-effacement, steadfast strength of purpose and promotion of the common good among his citizens. Spectators were utterly bemused why MPs were praising these characteristics. Standard candidate...