As the evenings lighten, the attention of the horse racing community turns to Aintree, and the traditional competition to provide the most ludicrously-named entry in this year's Grand National. Bet on any of these at your own risk... Over by Easter    An American nag, much-hyped but seems not to know where the winning post is, so not expected to finish as fast as the owners suggest. High likelihood of casualties. 1000-1 Over a Barrel Middle Eastern rival to Over by Easter, a little slow out...

After years of anticipation, football World Cup tickets have at last gone on sale. Seats at the final are now available for all fans who have completed the official assault course, proved the Riemann hypothesis, and pledged 10% of gross earnings for the next 25 years. Succeeding at these tasks gets you through to the 7 hour wait on a telephone, before the actual price is revealed to you - and the location of the disused warehouse where you go to deposit your cash and pick up the coveted...

A burglar in Hull has admitted that he broke the law when robbing a local household, and now thinks that he can sail away with it if he offers his victims a small fraction of the loot back, it has emerged. "I hold my hands up" said Peter Pebbledash, when police pointed a gun at him, "I chose not to consult the householders beforehand, as there is no way they would have agreed to me entering their home, ripping their TV off the wall, and making off with it plus sundry items of jewellery and...